A Voice Against Violence By Jerome Jorman Sr. The Psychology Of The Abuser

A Voice Against Violence

The Psychology of The Abuser

By

Jerome Jorman Sr.

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, domestic violence is the willful intimidation, assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior perpetrated by an intimate partner against another. It is an epidemic affecting individuals in every community, regardless of age, economic status, race, religion, nationality or educational background. Violence against an intimate is often accompanied by emotionally abusive and controlling behavior, and thus is part of a systematic pattern of dominance and control. Domestic violence results in physical injury, psychological trauma, and sometimes death. The consequences of domestic violence can cross generations and truly last a lifetime!

The first homicide ever recorded was in the book of Genesis found in the story of Able and Cain. The senseless murder was a tragic account of human destruction, where one innocent life was wasted at the hands of a violent and misdirected young man. How to often that same scenario is played out over and over again, in our homes, neighborhoods and cities. Of course jealousy was the motive behind this particular incident; however the mentality of those who abuse is far more complex than one single emotion.

Often the cycle of abuse is driven by a mindset or a psychological makeup with fear, intimidation, control, dominance, being the driving forces behind the actions of the abuser. In addition, many primal defenses are utilized such as denial, blame, projection, and transference, as tools to build strongholds of violence in the abusive relationship! Abuse is not limited to males abusing females, as there are just as many incidents of female abuse directed towards males. The main difference is that males tend not to report many incidents due to the social pressures of malehood, along with embarrassment over the idea of being victimized by a female.

The stats are alarming in that, one in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime;

• An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year.

• The majority (73%) of family violence victims are female. Females were 84% of spousal abuse

• victims and 86% of abuse victims at the hands of a boyfriend. Historically, females have been most often victimized by someone they knew.

• Females who are 20-24 years of age are at the greatest risk for intimate partner violence.

Of these incidents the male is often victimized physically, emotionally, or sexually as well. However, law enforcement tends to favor the female when such situations arise.

If we are going to the improve the well being of our relationships, we must first seek to have a healthy relationship with self, one of self love and acceptance, which can only come from having a loving relationship with God. As we receive healing and wholeness from our creator, we will have the love, peace and emotional stability required to have healthy productive relations with another!

When you don't become part of the solution, you become part of the problem!